Benny Blanco says the “secret” to building a relationship with Selena Gomez wasn’t a grand gesture or a complicated plan, but something far more straightforward: treating people well and communicating. According to reports, the Grammy-winning producer shared the relationship advice during a Sept. 13 appearance on the “Today” show, where he discussed how he and Gomez have maintained a strong partnership since they began dating in 2023.
“I didn’t use, like, black magic or anything,” Blanco, 38, said in the interview. “I just was nice.” He added that the foundation of their relationship comes down to understanding each other and keeping conversations open, saying it’s “understanding your partner and being able to talk about things, and have an open dialogue.”
Blanco also described their current dynamic in positive terms. “Yeah, we’re in a really good spot, and I’m very fortunate,” he said, according to the interview. He continued by crediting basic decency and kindness for helping bring Gomez into his life: “And I think, again, not being a dick and being nice to people put her in my orbit.”
The remarks align with advice Blanco has previously shared about what he was looking for in a long-term partner. On “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” he said he once worked with his therapist to write down qualities he wanted in a future wife. The first item, he recalled, was “age-appropriate.” The second was “someone who’s nice,” which he described as “nice, caring, compassionate, like someone who’s a nice person.”
His third requirement was someone who “woke up generally happy,” he said on the podcast, framing it as a preference for a partner with a naturally upbeat baseline.
Blanco and Gomez, a singer and actress, made their relationship public in 2023 and later announced their engagement in December 2024, according to the timeline cited in reports. They married in September 2025 in Santa Barbara, California.
In the “Today” show conversation, Blanco also shared details about their wedding and the tone the couple wanted to set. He said Gomez preferred Persian rugs rather than a traditional aisle and specifically wanted to avoid a “bougie” feel. Blanco described the celebration as carefully planned but not overly formal, saying it felt “incredible” and “didn’t feel stuffy,” according to the report.
Celebrity couples frequently share personal relationship reflections on talk shows, where small details about proposals, weddings and home life can quickly travel across social media and entertainment news. In recent years, public discussions about therapy and communication have also become more common among high-profile figures, reflecting a broader cultural shift toward normalizing mental health support and intentional relationship habits.
Why this matters
Gomez and Blanco’s relationship has drawn wide attention, and their public comments can shape how fans and media interpret their partnership—particularly after a high-profile engagement and wedding. Blanco’s emphasis on kindness and open dialogue echoes themes that relationship experts frequently highlight as central to long-term stability, even under public scrutiny. For audiences, the discussion also reflects how celebrities increasingly frame therapy and communication as standard tools rather than taboo topics.
Blanco’s message, as he put it, is simple: be kind, talk openly, and build the relationship from there.
